Idle Chatter Gifts

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

Hot Line

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

'Are you in here tonight?'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

Couch potato's shirt, "It suits you!"

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

"We had him neutered,"

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"This is the wine talking."

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.

Ramblers Association