Idle Chatter Prints

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"We just can't justify the expense of cheese, let alone the upkeep of the maze."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

'From the Mouth of Arthur Baskin.'

'Are you in here tonight?'

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

Hot Line

"You are sooooo 'grazed!'"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

Couch potato's shirt, "It suits you!"

A doctor without borders meets a free range chicken.

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

"No problem, B. J. I can talk and baste at the same time."

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

New Space Shuttle Mission: Deployment of the First Orbiting Telemarketer

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"We had him neutered,"

"This is the wine talking."

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

Phone Dating: Man imagines a gorgeous girl while woman thinks of a handsome man.