Irritation Analyzer T-Shirts

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

Road Guilt

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

Protests

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

"I'm very slow to anger, but then I'm very slow to do everything."

The Grumpometer.

"You could add 'Men who say "Ciao!" who are not even Italian or of Italian descent' to that list."

'We're looking for someone who has enormous confidence during the day and who wakes up worried sick at night.'

'The 10 Habits of Highly Annoying People'

Body Language...

Actress on botox expressing emotion.

"I think I may have stood next to someone who might have been near a place where they suspect one of their customer's partners could have had a temperature... So I've come for a Covid test."

"The thing that should bother me don't - should I be worried?"

"What goes around comes around more annoying."