Irony Appreciation Gifts

Priceless antiques priced to sell!

'... And as you're a health and safety officer, we'll rule out anyone who says they 'like to live dangerously'.'

''Free as a bird': Yeah right!'

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

I saw a headline that said that bears are lazy and I'd like to think that when I watch reality TV I'm connecting with nature.

'I'm starting to regret hitching my wagon to your star...'

'Good to see them getting behind the green message.'

"And as manager...I have no intention of letting my promotion change me..."

A mortgage and a shitty job-experience centre.

'Not only that, but we'll be able to send off 288 messages for help in the empty bottles!'

'They call for a demonstration in favour of climate change.'

We thought everyone would read it, but they haven't got the time.

More proof that Christmas has become way too commercial.

A smoker in a face mask

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"