Irony Appreciater Gifts

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'A cheeky red?'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Who's got the hammer?"

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

The height of fashion in 1796

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.