Irony Appreciator Gifts

"And to think that we started as a book group."

"For God's sake, think! Why is he being so nice to you?"

"The bidding will start at eleven million dollars."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Snow Plow in a Snowglobe

Death on the Weekend

Board Reads: I Am An Insane Eye Doctor And I Am Going To...

"Any clues?"

Deer in hunter's tree stand

"Well, I was hoping this might scare the other squirrels away from the bird feeders...but they seem to have made me their king!"

'50% off to all vegans.'

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"At first I was the aggressor but as he got the upper hand it became clear I was the victim."

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

'To demonstrate that it's nothing personal I brought you some pills for the headache.'

I'm fully aware of the mission for a paperless society, but can I please have a toilet-roll for the gents?

"It'd be worse under a Labour government."

"My God—do you suppose it can read?!"

The Cat That Swallowed the... no, it was the other way round.

"I'm just here for the dental."

So, I'm the only one who sees a conflict of interest here?

Accident Free Days 14?3.

"You've got six months, but with aggressive treatment we can help make that seem much longer."

'Say hello, everyone, to Bert Phelps. He'll be taking the job of security manager for our entire poultry products division!'

'We are prepared to make you a loan, but first you have to prove that you really don't need it,'

Panel discussion: absenteeism in the workplace.

'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'

You were here, now you are lost.

Cutting corners can cost money.

'Here are the new guidelines on how to set up a 'paperless office'!'

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Man putting up accident prevention sign falls off ladder.

'Oh, God I have to talk to a *****! Human!'

'Oh yeah...a diet soda, too.'