Ironiconoclasts Gifts

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Why Superman flies himself

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

'They didn't kick me upstairs after all -- they threw me down the elevator shaft!'

Foreclosed

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

Self raising Lazarus.

Bad Influence of TV

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

'I stole it from the library.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

'I'm sick of you leeching off me.'

"Honey, guess what? My therapist finally got me to cry!"

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

"If I'd known my life was going to be like this I'd never have run away with you."

'What's so crazy about me wanting to start my own china shop?'

'We're a progressive company, McWit, however ... '

Wentworth patiently waits for his receipt.

A dog brings a cherub to their owner