Ironically Named Giant Appreciators Pillows

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

65 Million Years Ago

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'Projectile painting.'

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

Wine taster with mineral water

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

'So who's smoking?'

"Is your dog friendly?"

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

"I like to stay on top of things."

Big business is not evil

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'Are you free at the moment?'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.