Ironical Twist Lover Gifts

They decided to settle out of court.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

The Final Selfie

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"The back flip was a nice touch."

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

"I think he must have had a death wish"

'You called a plumber!'

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

We discovered the original background during an x-ray. Ice cream.

"I'm just doing this until I can break into accounting."

'Gentlemen, my card! I'm a lawyer.'

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

"I have a better idea! Let's squeeze the apple and ferment the juice!"

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

Hunter about to fall into a trap set by deer.

"Aye, Arthur were kitchen sink before all them young lads in the sixties."

'Unfortunately the 'motivational speaker' we'd booked couldn't be bothered to turn up.'