Ironic Resolution Strategist T-Shirts

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

CX909708

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Cat Trap,

Bear bends hunter's guns.

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."