Ironic Philosophers Pillows

"Do I need it? Does it spark joy?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

Zenemies.

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Human meat.

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

Meet The Ghostwriter

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'