Ironic Name Lover Pillows

"So far we've narrowed the choice of names down to either Fearnaught or HMS Arsekicker."

"OMG, LOL!"

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

My Spam Sketchbook

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

Advertising on the internet.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Elephant and Castle

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

"I was listening at the door and I overheard the nickname they have for me."

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

'I'm actually Farnsworth Huddleson the fifth. The first was an obscure character in a Dickens novel.'

"Look, professor, a Tibetan Blackbird or Turdus Maximus."

And it goes without saying that...

'They call me 'ka-ching'...I'm the go-to cash player.'

I think we've been riding in circles. I can't find the outpost anywhere! You can't see the fortress for the trees!

Blues musicians who never found their audience

"Hey, you know those collective nouns are just a bunch of crap, right?"

Onandonodon

Daddy's little girl....Or not...

"We realize it is an unnecessary department, but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down."

'The tracks are getting fresher. He's close by.'

"Nah, not my type."

Counsellor is an owl.

'They call me... Condor!'

The Grim Reefer: 'DUDE,that was,like,your last puff,MAN.'

"No, I said we were going bear hunting...not hunting bare!"

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

The Stranger

"Don't you think it's time we talked about the rhinoceros in the room?"

'I think we should start seeing other people.'