Code Name Lover Pillows

"What do you hear from Agent X-37, chief?", "He's doing fine, but please use his code name 'Kemosabe.'"

"OMG, LOL!"

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

My Spam Sketchbook

Advertising on the internet.

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

Elephant and Castle

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Paul Daniels.

"I was listening at the door and I overheard the nickname they have for me."

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

'We've got 'Jumpin' Jake' Stevens on drums, 'Slick' Chuck on bass and 'Wasted Pete' Walthons on the trumpet.'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'I'm actually Farnsworth Huddleson the fifth. The first was an obscure character in a Dickens novel.'

I think we've been riding in circles. I can't find the outpost anywhere! You can't see the fortress for the trees!

"Look, professor, a Tibetan Blackbird or Turdus Maximus."

Zero Tolerance

'They call me 'ka-ching'...I'm the go-to cash player.'

"Hey, you know those collective nouns are just a bunch of crap, right?"

Onandonodon

Daddy's little girl....Or not...

Blues musicians who never found their audience

And it goes without saying that...

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"So far we've narrowed the choice of names down to either Fearnaught or HMS Arsekicker."

"We realize it is an unnecessary department, but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down."

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."

"We tried to make it idiot-proof but someone's already made a better idiot."

"Actually, I’m Peg. She’s Jackie."

Van Gogh on Instagram.

"#babygirl...seriously?"

"I'm sick of you going off on me all the time!"