Ironic Leader Gifts

'I fired them all. 2.437 of them. I'll go it alone.'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I see the downsizing continues."

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"She's not naked, Jake, she's French."

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

Meet The Ghostwriter

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.'

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

"He took that kinda hard."

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

"I eat green but I don't vote green."

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

The bird of peace is caged

The Dungeon