Ironic Hero Lover Gifts

Achilles' other weakness.

"He was a very good boy."

"Look! No hands!"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Hammer

Cow of BEEF

"You are still here."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Where Are They Now?'

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

The next damn Batman.

"I'll have dessert first."

Man proposes holding a balloon.

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"Ya know, dad...I get to pretend I'm a superhero because of real heroes like you."

"The Equal Opportunity people say I can't call you my sidekick any more. You're now my personal assistant."

"It's your turn to change him."

Healthy Eating Casualties

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

New anti-obesity cookbook.

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"Hi guys. I'm Lawyer man, and my power is of attorney."

Superhero

Zorro, The Embroiderer

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."