Heroic Story Lover Gifts

Hou Yi

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"What did Jesus order?"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

William Tell

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '

Fairy tale

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

Man proposes holding a balloon.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"'Best wishes'? That's it? That's all you got?!"

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

"Now, can you explain that with a parable?"