Ironic Educator Pillows

"Shows you how much I know."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

Party Schools...

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

K-9 Garten

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

Benjamin Franklin

'Think Basics.'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

Lack History Month

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

Keep students on their toes...

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"