Educational Irony Enthusiast Pillows

"But, dad, this will make sure I don't get saddled with college student debt."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Party Schools...

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

"Shows you how much I know."

"We're not admitting any wrong doing, but we've agreed to pay a ten Zillion dollar fine.''

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'No! No! No! I don't want to die. . . Then why are you carrying that enormous scythe?'

"Well they look pretty undocumented to me."

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

A Cold Snap

"Listen Smith, I don't care if the older boys are picking on you or not, you have to come into school - you're the deputy head for goodness sake!"

'Ready for your performance review?'

"Hitler's first name? I think it was 'Heil' Miss."

The outside of a museum with a banner that reads "Nothing by you".

"It appears to have been done with a key to the city, which narrows the suspects."

'Your lectures cured my sleep disorder.'

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

Teacher to other about broken book on broken ground: 'It's a heavy subject for him.'

"Maybe you should have put the rescue note in the bottle rather than just floating it out to sea."

Congress and the Four Day Week.

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'I hate it when a substitute gets teachy.'

What's wrong with me? I'm sure it's nothing. What's nothing? Absolutely nothing to worry about. "I'm sure it's nothing" are the evilest words in medicine!!! That's actually true.

"I told him it wouldn't kill him to try to be nice once in a while, but I was wrong."

'Jack has two apples and three apples. That adds up to six.'

'Professor, Professor, the slaves are, I mean, the PhD students are revolting!'