Ironic Consumer Gifts

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

But is it organic?

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

They get into debt so fast these days...

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"Physician heal thyself."

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

Aggression Therapy Seminar

'I hear voices again! Buy! Buy! Buy!'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

Seven deadly sins store

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

'Hey man that's a gas!'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

Therapists to watch out for: 'How long have you had this unnatural fear of wolves?'

Climate-Conscious Cartoonists Work Without Paper!

Food-Snob Fear Factor

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'You seem to be suffering a reaction to the amount of medication you're taking. I'll see what I can prescribe for that!'

It occurred to Norman that he was using far, far too much salt.

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

"I'm still spending a lot of money, but I'm spending it ironically."

Last minute gift ideas

Tattoo Repo Men

"New super select-a-size! 1/2 sheet, 1/4 sheet, 1/8 sheet (make-up remover), 1/16 sheet (spider killer), 1/32 sheet (booger getter), 1/64 sheets (zit squeezers)."