Ironic Communication Lover Pillows

"It's for you."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"I don't mind getting email from you, Stevens. But don't ever send me another smiley-face emoji."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Bird Messaging

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

Bell invents the telephone.

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

20 years as Stamp Club Chaorman and they send my retirement card by E-MAIL.

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

'My son never called me until he became a telemarketer.'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'

"I don't respond to threats. Or e-mails, by the way"

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"

A chemist misunderstanding the request of a lady after a way to clean gloves.

'Of course my income didn't really take off until I left tele-marketing and got into insurance fraud.'

'Did you just text me to tell me we don't talk anymore?'

Hermit on island can't escape modern society.

"Why can't we have a discussion without it escalating into a shouting match?"

'It's the same thing every day, Mother. The first thing he does when he gets home is check his peemail.'

Text Smoke Signal.

"So no text? Nothing?"

'I say! Fancy a date, old thing?'