Ironic Caveman Gifts

The First Fire Stick

Ancient Racing

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

A prehistoric football match.

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'Wine? Okay. I really don't care what you call it; let's invite over the two sisters from the cave next door.'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'I can't help thinking there's something else we can do with this.'

'Now that we can talk, let me give you some advice....'

Very nice, but will it put mammoth meat on the table?

"Get out of the way! The transport vehicle of the future is about to overtake you! Soon everyone will have one!"

Stoneage Anachronism...

"Nothing is funny. We're just having a good laugh."

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'If you worked on inventing fire instead of that round thing, you wouldn't have to eat cold cuts.'

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

'He also wants to be domesticated.'

"Now do you believe me?"

Pizza Carried Off On A Stick Like A Wild Animal

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

"I'm collecting everyday objects for a time capsule."

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

OCCASIONALLY HOMO ERECTUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO USE TOOLS AND WEAPONS, CROSSED PATHS WITH HOMO SPIFICUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO WEAR SPATS AND DRINK COCKTAILS>

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

"Oh, it's called a fireplace. I'm not sure what fire is, but look how cozy."