Ironic Ambition-seeker T-Shirts

"You think I can be an assistant manager?"

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

What else is there to wish for?

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

The Salesman

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"You used to be that ambitious."

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"It's more relevant than some of the other theme parks we've been to."

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

"It's lonely at the top...But it beats being depressed at the bottom."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

"If we had invented the phone and computer, we would be at the top of the food chain. What a blown opportunity."

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it."

"Stop chasing my tail? I'd be lost if I had no goal in life."

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

'When I grow up, I want to destroy Tokyo!'

Man with a Plan

"You'll never know if you can fly until you leap into the unknown."

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

"Larry and Phil aren't sure what they want to do, but Michael is interested in show business."