Ironically Ambitious T-Shirts

'Let's keep going. Maybe we'll get there in time for the net olympics.'

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

"Now you can send it."

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"...it's another metal detector."

Procrastinators Incorporated

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

'I'm majoring in political science and minoring in ballet - I want to be a spin doctor.'

'When you grow up, son, you can be whatever you want -- a doctor or a lawyer.'

"Harry wasn't born great and he hasn't achieved greatness, but he figures there is always the chance that greatness may be thrust upon him?"

"Ambitions... to be opened."

Humpty Dumpty Gets in a Taxi.

I resist all change, except for TV channels, of course!

"You think I can be an assistant manager?"

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

I can't believe it - I've made it again!!!

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

'Well, he always said he wanted the biggest damn desk in the city.'

'Look on the bright side. At least we'll have one hell of a tan.'

Even something as large as world domination has to start as the merest of whims - thought John.

'Your problem, Mr.Fitzhue, is that you're a type-A personality in a model-T body.'

'It is nice to have Springtime here at last.'

Hell's Kitties

'The good news is, I've got no more trouble with my stupid boss and grumbling customers. The bad news is, our company is insolvent and I'm jobless.'

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

"I think I'd appreciate the outdoors more if all these stupid trees weren't blocking the view."

'Sailing, it's a sport that doesn't float my boat.'

"We're hoping he'll end up on the street - Harley, Downing, Wall..."