Iron Swing Master Pillows

Man Playing Golf in War Zone

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Swinging

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Swing

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Where's my horse?'

Automatic swing machine

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

A bride and a groom on a swing

Stone henge swing.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Chris felt that, with diligence, he could teach Jack to hit a 1-iron by 11 months.

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'Let's give it a whirl. Swing is back!'

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'