Iron Seeker Gifts

Metal detector finds another metal detector.

Muscles

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Bench Press Accident

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Exercise Bars

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'Bring me some more power.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

What do you think about this "too big to fail" stuff?

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

A man fly fishing forms a fish with his line.

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"No, no - I'm just looking for a balance of power that corrupts in moderation."