Iron-fisted Gentleman Pillows

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Ironing day.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

Long suffering cricket wife

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'He must not have been an easy man to care for. He always had an iron will. Which brings us to what he left you.'

"I might be down the pub a bit later, Brian, I'm just trying to smooth a few things with the missus."

'It's the people downstairs again.'

Pressing Problem

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'What the hell is PIG IRON?'

Ironmongers

"Upper or lower body workout?"

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

Born to play ball.

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

'We could have a problem here lads.'

'This is great! We should holiday at home next year too!'

"Mind if we play through?"

Easy shaving

A bulge of bodybuilders

"When I was young I needed drugs to feel weird. Now, I need drugs to feel normal."

Great Moments in Chess

"Harry can never remember whether it's the winner or the loser who's supposed to jump over the net."