Iron-fist Analyst Pillows

"You have no new messages."

Global Warmer 2000.

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

'Steady...here he comes...wait for it, wait for it...'

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

"And yet, I too am a still life."

'It's the people downstairs again.'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'No doubt about it we're really lost!...Even GPS says it can't help!'

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

"Upper or lower body workout?"

Income Tax Return

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

Ironmongers

"Look! A brave man using the medium of dance to protest against the fascist coronavirus measures of the government!"

"Actually, these are more valuable than the golden ones now."

"Sorry, I'm the Amazing People Watcher. I'm going all I can."

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

Excalibur Golf Course.

A bulge of bodybuilders

Military Recruiters...'Win a free trip to the holy lands'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'Monged too much this week?'

'What's he got that I haven't got?'

Might Makes 'Right To Exist'.

'Five years in that place. What on earth did you do with yourself in all that time.'

'Phew, that's a relief. . . No chemical weapons!'

'How long have you felt this need to protect the net'

"One hundred million neutrinos are passing through our bodies every second, and we're worried about the price of coffee."

'Pumping his way up the food chain'