Iou Collector Gifts

'Just to clarify IOU's do not qualify as a tithe!'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Servicemen.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'It seats two comfortably.'

Six jazz instruments.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

'And that,and that,and that...'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Count Von Moltke.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.

"I wonder what this was for."

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."