Investors In Disguise Gifts

"Your farm's doing well John. What's your secret?"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

The Stock Market.

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

'Exactly what day is this the soup of?'

Business plan.

'The plan was idiot-proof. Unfortunately, someone came up with a superior idiot.'

"Sorry guys, but your 'magic mind-reader' doesn't seem to be working."

Shareholder's Meetings

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

'I believe in Santa Claus, and I believe in the guaranteed annual 10% return.'

'How about a romantic caper about two lost souls who meet and find happiness investing in mutual funds.'

'Sell during a boom; buy during a bust - that sounds more like Warren Buffett instead of Buddha.'

'I dabble in stocks all the time. Beef, chicken, and vegetable.'