Investment Overseer Gifts

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

Economy.

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

Dept. of the Treasury

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"To say things are bad is an UNDERSTATEMENT...We're staring into a FINANCIAL ABYSS, the COLLAPSE of the banking sector...On the other hand some experts believe that things will be back to normal in a few months ."

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'Fenwick is here with a dire warning about the next bubble to burst.'

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

Making money for investors is simple

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

Mr. Dow meeting Mr. Jones

'Money, I'm home!'

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

'To Consumer Debt!'

'Jeez! I never realized just sitting and trying not to look stupid was so exhausting.'