Ethical Overseer Gifts

'Ought we to blow the whistle? He is, after all, a senior consultant.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

"Tell me again. Do we weaponize, then monetize, or the other way around?"

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

"The ethics committee apologizes for running off to Vegas with company funds, and promises to work overtime to make amends."

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

'Under disclosure rules, I'm required to tell you I own stock in the company whose

'It has to be understandable, Higbe. A code of ethics is not actually to be written in code.'

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

'Let the minutes show that Fenwick brought up the subject of corporate ethics.'

'The environmental impact should be minimal. In any event, we can work around it.'