Financial Overseer Gifts

'The Taxman's in the counting house, taxing all your money!'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'So! -- You're the one who's been stealing the office supplies!'

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"John's our CFO: Creative Financial Officer."

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

I don't remember your name... but your salary is familiar.

Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."

"If we put you in our collections department, Do you think you could hound people?"

'I'm resigning due to fiscal mismanagement...so my last act as CEO is to give myself a big severance package.'

'To err is human, but to forgive is unusual.'

"Oops! MY mistake, that was the yearly expense estimate, not the monthly estimate."

"Bottom line - don't forget to lie."

'Don't mention Law & Order.. I'm all Law.'

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Should I announce my retirement before or after...."

"I think this new financial controller is going to be trouble..."

Hospital Finances.

"The only way you'll get fired is if you don't spend your budget."

'Getting fired right now. Have no idea Y! : ('

Part of Neptune's job is doing performance reviews. He said the octopus is a great multitasker and the dolphin has outstanding communication skills. If given a meaty project to work on, the shark will really sink its teeth into it. The jellyfish received a poor review because he's just aimlessly drifting in his career. And the eel is being promoted to management. He's a terrific motivator. He gets everybody charged up.

'Damned tourists.'

Boss sitting in an umpire chair to watch his employees.

'Thank you for you car expense claim . . .why are you wearing bicycle clips?'

'You can rest assured we don't brush anything under the carpet in this office.'

'I think we might have to find some money to do something about the office heating...'

"Great news! We're going to have to make some big cuts next year!"