Investment In-joker Gifts

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Toilet humour

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"Tell me more about Armageddon. I think it may have potential as an exchange-traded fund."

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

A clown & his clone.

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"