Investment Foodie T-Shirts

I've repositioned your portfolio to fat-free products....

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

Build Your Own Portfolio

Soup of the month.

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

Businessman dreaming of pie charts when he sees a pizza.

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

Roadkill Restaurant

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

Cooking the books

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

"I suggest an investment in Chicken stock."

Bank Roll

'That's $27.50, including the fuel surcharge, carbon tax, noise nuisance and environmental impact fee.'

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

'Oh yes, the market may fall, but trust me, we always land on our feet.'

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'