Investment Elves T-Shirts

"Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Hollywood Sign Developers

In the Guru District

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

Elfie Stick

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Saving for College.

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

Wealth Juggler.