Investment Connoisseur Gifts

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'Investors Chronicle' "How do I know whether to buy it or not?"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Wall Street Couch

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

wealth investment

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'