Investment Buffs Pillows

The Tooth Accountant

"I hear he came into some money."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Wall Street Couch

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'