Intrusion Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Signing in my presence isn't enough anymore. You have to sign while I'm in your personal space."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Likes: $2.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"What was I thinking?!"

'Where was the TSA?'

Window Treatment

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"He's his own worst enemy."

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

That party went well.

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Man doing a search on a computer

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Now that I've solved all my problems, I think I'm ready to create more"

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."