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"It's true. For years I've secretly had a second blended family."

A boy acting suspiciously

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

Detective and child follow footprints using magnifying glasses.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

Inside the Bermuda Romantic Triangle

"We're here, Harry."

A skier and a paraglider

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

Janet Leigh

'I was going to leak this to wikileaks. Then I thought, why not write a 'tell all' book instead?'

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

Extreme kites!

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

White cat on top of a Christmas tree.

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

'Don't you ever get tired of all the whispering?'

"I can squeeze you in between my public apology and my book deal."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'Emotional blackmail.'

Excessive Paperwork

Desert Island Surveillance.

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

'If you promise to never try to open the locked attic door, the owner will take $20,00 off!'

'002' - A discussion about 007.

Your DNA is in the database.

"Asides from today's wind-chill factor, what else might you consider all your parents' fault?"