Intimate Art Appreciator Gifts

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Sauvignon Bonk

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Pastorius wonders why.

Misunderstood artist

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Juggler and Illusionist

Scarpia's Palace

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Artist on the Beach

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

Ariana Grande caricature

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

"How did this comma get in with all the pieces?"

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.