Intimate Art Appreciator Gifts

Marriage therapist's office is filled with erotic art.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Sauvignon Bonk

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Misunderstood artist

Pastorius wonders why.

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Juggler and Illusionist

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Artist on the Beach

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

The Famed Florsheim Illusion.

Ariana Grande caricature

"Gesundheit."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?