Arts Appreciator Gifts

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

The Bavarians, scene 1.

'Well, excuse me for trying to inject a little culture into my life!'

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Misunderstood artist

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Juggler and Illusionist

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Berta screams out!

Leonore from Fidelio

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Artist on the Beach

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Ariana Grande caricature

She did only twenty-eight of the thirty-two fouetts in the Black Swan pas de deux . . . or are my eyes deceiving me?

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

'Isn't this cast great? Dr. Emily's minor was sculpture in college!'