Arts Appreciator Gifts

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

The Bavarians, scene 1.

'Well, excuse me for trying to inject a little culture into my life!'

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

Misunderstood artist

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

"How do I know this isn't a performance art piece?"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Scarpia's Palace

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Juggler and Illusionist

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

'It doesn't do anything, it's just a very pleasing shape!'

Artist on the Beach

Leonore from Fidelio

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Berta screams out!

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

"'Talent borrows, genius steals' - that's one of mine, too."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'