Interviewer Pillows

'They tell me you're quiet intuitive.'

"That's my sock drawer- I just wanted you to see how organized I am."

'That's true. We did advertise for someone who 'works well under pressure'...'

"Any other strengths?"

"I see you've come prepared for an in-depth interview."

'Long term I want to enhance my leadership skills and ascend the corporate ladder. Short term I want a mocha latte.'

'Besides a great smile, do you have any other qualifications we could consider?'

'By the way, is this off the record?'

'I believe the courts have recently ruled that asking questions of an applicant, during an interview, is illegal.'

"So what makes you think you're the right person for this post?" "Well, I'm highly motivated, outgoing and independently minded. Isn't that right, Dad?"

"...and I'm proficient in two languages ? English and text messaging."

'We've worked out an answer...what was the question?'

You are more than your job description.

'We are not a sexist employer, so we ask all employees exactly the same questions. Now, 'what happens if you become pregnant?''

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I see you brought a stick. I'm impressed. You've done your homework."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'I like your initiative. You've got the job.'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"errrm..I think I'll phone a friend."

Yes, I can see you're bound. I suppose my question is, are you determined?

'You can't start a job interview with 'How are you ?' It's a veiled inquiry into my general health.'

"Are all these letters of recommendation from your mother?"

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'Your ad said you were looking for a people person.'

"This is so much more fun than reading CVs."

'Your resume is certainly memorable. You used a different font for every other word you wrote.'

'How could you have thirty years of experience when you're only twenty?'

"I'm looking for somebody who thinks big on small salary."

'We're not looking for someone with good leadership qualities so much as we're looking for someone with good herding instincts.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'No experience necessary. We'll train you!'

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'I'm very impressed with how you effectively dodged every one of my questions.'

"Well, no, but I always rooted for them."