Interviewee Extraordinaire T-Shirts

"So what attracted you to us?"

"We reviewed your application and we'd like to hire it - not you."

I'm a self-made man!

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

Party time.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"Seriously?"

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

"Job interview!"

"So did you do all your leadership training online?"

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Ideally, we're looking for someone who can handle change."

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'