Interview Expert T-Shirts

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

"I'd like to make $3.2 million a year, but I'll settle for $8 an hour."

'I love your resume. Is it fiction, non-fiction, or plagiarized from the internet?'

Try to relax.

'For the last 15 years, I've been working in the financial services sector - whatever that means.'

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

Make sure your CV stands out for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones.

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

"Thanks. I'll let you know if you've been successful."

'That's like being a kamikaze pilot veteran, Lots of missions, but no success,'

"Friendly tip for your next interview - the interviewer gets the big chair."

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"...mpressive C.V.but we have an internal candidate in mind."

'I've applied for DOZENS of jobs!'

'Here's my resume. It's loosely based on true story.'

"Dominic had spent days preparing for the interview, what could possibly go wrong?"

"The whole thing is basically fiction. But I just thought my resume could use some spice."

"If you want to know if you got the job or not, you'll want to go to www.Not-in-a-Million-Years.com. The answer will be posted there."

"Your resume was good, up until the point where you said, 'Don't make me beg.'"

"Your resume states you spent four years as a hostage. May we have permission to contact your captors?"

"I was building up my pecs."

"Job interview!"

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Your resume, under 'experience' states that you once owned a piggy bank. Tell me about that."

"I've been called for jury duty. How can I get out of it?"

"Well, I admire your assertiveness, but you might want to work on your people skills!"

'It's an important post, I think three day interview followed by two role plays and group interview with the partners.'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'