Interviewee Extraordinaire Pillows

"So what attracted you to us?"

"We reviewed your application and we'd like to hire it - not you."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

I'm a self-made man!

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

Party time.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"Seriously?"

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'You're not at all qualified. Thanks for coming in and wasting my time. We'll let you know by the end of the week.'

"Job interview!"

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"In your CV under 'experience' all you've written is 'YIPEE!'."

"Ideally, we're looking for someone who can handle change."

"So did you do all your leadership training online?"