Interview Geek Gifts

"Do you have any other strengths?"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Early cyborg.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

Do you have any other skills?

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

Twitter censorship

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

The end is near

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

'He will observe your text now...'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'I'm sorry, but you have a very impressive resume, and at this company, we find competence threatening.'

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"