Interview Achiever T-Shirts

"I'd give you a list of references but no one will admit they know me."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

Do you have any other skills?

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Caged Businessman

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"