Job Interview Champion T-Shirts

"Any other references besides your Mother?"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

Do you have any other skills?

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"