Interstellar Wit Gifts

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

Snowprov

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

How Glaciations Begin

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

Mars probe discovers life similar to earth.

The Frankenstein snowman.

"You'd think they never heard of 'catch and release' before."

"Gee, I just wish I had the words to describe this scene to you fellows back on earth...!"

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

'Ms Grimski, prepare to invade earth.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

Moon's Portaloo.

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

Serious business

"Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knick-knacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter."

Small laughing space creatures.

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

"They discovered an Earthlike planet, and it's close." "Earthlike?" "Does it have oceans and beaches and sensual ladies who like to gaze at sunsets?" "It may have liquid water. And it's orbiting a red dwarf, so it'll always look like sunset." "But is there anyone there to whisper sweet nothings to?" "I know a guy at NASA. If they send a probe, maybe he could add your dating profile."

"Y'all look like dog people to me."

'I was chatting with Krog when, out of the blue, that thing fell on him.'

"Our planet no longer wants to receive email from yours."

"B*****d!"

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"

Bassoon musical instrument.

"Of course - I believe in the Great Spin Doctor in the sky!"

Personnel - Equal Opportunities Employer.

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

Astronauts see 'Martian' with fig leaf on face.