Interstellar Tourist Pillows

'They're more advanced than I thought. It only took him five seconds to refold that map.'

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'I'm going to Venus. He's going to Mars.'

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

Blue Origin

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

'Well, that's how we mix martinis around here.'

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'You just can't win. I'm getting charged a ridiculous service fee, since we're in an outer stellar market, using a non-galaxy ATM machine!'

"You are here"

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"